Today's America

A humid haze rises over an open field

of solar panels

On my last bus for a while

After Steve & Johnesquecapades

of trucks, school buses & Ubers

Broke down in Harrisburg

My Philly trip picks up via Greyhound

People to themselves except for phone calls

What is my career? My brain? My country?

There are tears as I float lost, Cheryll

Though I know she listens

She didn't say not to embark on a 

Different plane, train & automobile daily

She helps with itineraries

But I'm a nervous traveler

It shouldn't be, looking out at rusty bridges

Stone churches, tenement houses

The familiar Target & Midas

Don't calm me

I'm 2 days & $300 from my window

Overlooking my boats

I'm in the company of a dozen souls

Who between Bluetooth headphones

Might be searching like me

Aching for home & empty & they don't know why

How is Truckmovers different from hauling freight?

Generally called drive-away, this work differs from over-the -road freight hauling in a few ways:
1. No trailer, doors, landing gear, electrical or air lines, or reefer. Dude.
2. Being an independent contractor is quite a bit different than being a company employee. Lots of paperwork & erratic income. I won't know what kind of money I'm making until doing our taxes at the end of the year.
3. No waiting at docks to get loaded & unloaded, like for 8 hours at Walmart.
4. Flying from the end of one load to the beginning of another. Sometimes there's some waiting for flights.
5. New trucks with the newest features that many drivers hate, like alarms for following too closely. Plus new truck smell.
6. Even I don't get dirty & greasy or even sweaty. That's pretty big.
7. Sleeping at motels & some stress in ensuring the trucks will fit in their lot. Keep in mind, a set of 3 or 4 trucks don't back up.

Last night I was at home & we got some tasty sushi. I ate some squid by accident. Ew. Today I delivered in Dodge Center, MN, & now I'm waiting for my flight from Rochester & Minneapolis to Philadelphia. From there I haul 4 trucks to Orlando.

1. I didn't like doing 4 trucks with that tail whipping around last time.
2. Orlando? Never been there, but I'm nervous.

I'll get home for a longer visit soon & look forward to catching up with family. Hey, have a great weekend!

Atypical Antipsychotic Latuda Saves the Day

As I fell asleep watching Law and Order as usual, nothing would indicate this was the day from hell, except it was only 8:00. I don't even take sleeping pills anymore. I pass out like normal. But is this life really normal?

The night before, I was within 30 minutes of my destination when a check engine light came on. This truck had 4 miles on it when I signed for it at the plant. I practiced my Spanish app while waiting for a tech to come reset it. No big deal.

The next morning I dropped this truck chassis at the factory that installs the box. Next step is getting a Lyft to my transportation to the next job (flight or rental car). I wanted to be easy to find, and it was sprinkling, so I stood in a guard shack that appeared to have been in disuse since the'50s. I scanned my paperwork on the dusty counter. That's how independent contractors get paid.

My Lyft driver Carlton arrived, & he got on the turnpike & was telling me about hiking this morning & eating ripe June strawberries, when he missed our exit. This sucked because the next exit would be in 20 miles.

Oh. I'll listen to my Rachel Maddow podcast on the ride. My hand found an empty pocket, and my mind clearly pictured my new phone on that guard shack counter.

Oh. My driver laments, this is the worst that can happen. No, man, it's not as bad as an accident, I said, like a ray of Cheryll beaming out of my mouth.

On our commute, Carlton told me he lived near that factory, and one time the police were chasing a bad guy who'd dragged a cop holding onto his window, and this fugitive ended up on foot & hid out in my same guard shack. Haha, maybe it's a true story. It passed some time.

We retrieved my phone. Yes, I did just lose it last month. We agreed to split the miles, but it cost me $100. We got me dropped off at Enterprise, & I was to drive from Morgantown PA, back to Williamstown WV, to pick up another truck to transport. It was only a 5-hour drive, but my compact rental quit before I arrived. For lack of gas. Damn. Lucky I was near a gas station. Unlucky it was closed. Lucky a guy was working there & brought a can of gas to my car.

This reminded me of another Cheryllism that annoys me so much: "Everything always works out." In this medicated case, it did, as if the glass was half full instead of totally empty. Until I pulled into the next gas station & hit a pot hole that bent my bumper. But Enterprise didn't hold it against me.

I would say we should be really concerned about these psych drugs with mechanisms that aren't understood being applied to vague behavioral conditions believed to emanate from the mysterious glop in our skulls. I would protest more if I wasn't feeling so calm. Turns out there's not an imperative to act like shit if you interpret shit is happening. Probably my wife is sighing in frustrated relief.

In this week of high-profile suicides, I'm grateful to get a little respite from my suicidal obsession, complaining, and catastrophizing daily life to have some peace ☮️

I hope you find some too.

My Ego

22 wheels turning
Getting shit done
My mentor likes me
Sending coin home
My ego is whole

Tripping Around the Truckmovers

I am commencing my third trip around this Truckmovers circuit. There was a rough start, but we're cruising at 30,000 feet now. On my next truck trip, my awesome mentor will let me run free, so there will be some struggle as I encounter new complications on my own.

This trip, my mentor Hal & I flew into Laredo TX, & each got a set of 3 new International day cabs. We dropped them off in Joliet, IL, took an $80 Uber in torrential rain to O'Hare Airport, & now we're fixin to fly back to San Antonio TX, with a bus to Laredo to do it again, by myself this time.

The 2nd trip went from Laredo to Springdale AR, & was uneventful.

The whole adventure started turbulently, however. I didn't find my flight confirmation number in my spam folder but figured the airline could look it up. At 5 a.m., I was handed a boarding pass & checked a bag.

In it were 3 months' worth of prescriptions that make it possible for me to work. Yes, I did that.

While cued in the TSA line I noticed my boarding pass read Sean Murphy, close to Susan, but far from being close enough. Back at the airline desk I learned Sean & my meds were en route to Shreveport LA, & my intended flight on United just left. I mistakenly thought I was flying American. But that was Sean I was thinking of.

A lost baggage claim was started, & I was given a new flight for many hours later. I took a walk, had a slice, & wandered over to the Missouri River levee to look around. In the middle of a ragweed meadow stood four 5-foot-tall steel square tubes. In the distance the downtown Omaha skyline wavered in a humid haze.

If you know me, you can tell the next part of the story. Yes, I opened my camera app & set the phone on top of a tube to stabilize my photography. It slipped from my incompetent fingers, and down, down, like Alice it went, landing with a tink & echoing a last text beep at me.

Shocked into an instant panic of electronic withdrawal, I had to figure out, sans phone, how to get a phone! I walked to a hotel, called a cab, got to a Verizon store & had my empty right hand occupied once more by a phone & lifeline within the hour. Disaster averted.

Cheryll picked me up from Verizon & took me back to the airport & it wasn't that much of a goodbye. I have been very difficult to live with lately, & she probably was relieved to see me go.

I made my flight, & on the connection to Laredo, I overheard a guy named Denton talking about his lost bag, & he sounded like a truckmover. We talked & waited in line together at the lost baggage claim desk. He called for a shuttle to the motel my mentor doesn't like. I took Denton's shuttle instead of having the other shuttle also come. Seemed reasonable.

When we got to the motel, after a late-night Krispy Kreme detour, Denton pays for a room, I heard the charge was $75, & I said, "Hey, I thought you said this was cheaper than the Ramada," to which he replied, "because that's for both of us."

Ok, this is an awkward situation that's easily rectified in hindsight. In the moment, I didn't want to seem ungrateful or look like I'd been caught by surprise or like I had no idea wtf was going on, so I just followed him to our room. I know it sounds ridiculous.

In the room, we watched some sports I guess is what they were, he told me about his wife & the married woman he's pursuing, & we turned out the lights. In no time, he starts talking about back rubs. I feel so stupid. How did I do this, & how do I fix it? I declined, and luckily he started snoring, but I lay awake listening a long time.

So I survived another one of my mistakes unscathed. When Hal met Denton in the morning, he didn't like him one bit. Even though the 3 of us are around the same age, I feel like an adolescent, Denton seems like an aging player, Hal & a father figure.

At first, I didn't tell Hal what happened because it was embarrassing & because we were busy working. I thought he'd say I warned you about that motel & you went anyway.

The next time around, Denton was again on our flight, again bragging about his women, & that night while I was driving, he texted me to see if I wanted to share a room with him. I said no & he acted hurt, & that's when I mentioned to Hal what was happening, in case he was the last one to see me alive.

Oh yeah! I'm a female, & that makes me vulnerable. I still keep forgetting that. I thought my experience was worth mentioning since we're having a #MeToo movement.

Now we're on the sunny side of the clouds. I'm looking forward to running on my own, even if I have to solve my problems by myself.

PS: omg, Hal lives in San Antonio & went home. I called a Lyft to go to the motel & jumped in the first Hyundai, but it was somebody else's Lyft. Duh!

Spinning Wheels

I've returned home from the shortest job ever. The plan was to work as an independent contractor for a company that transports new trucks. My accountant was quite interested in our risk exposure, considering my track record, but she never tells me no. I would be moving 3 to 4 trucks piggybacked together and deal with hooking and unhooking them, which requires a bunch of tools we bought before I left.

The company would fly me from one job to the next, but I had to pay my own way to meet my mentor in Laredo, TX. The bus was the cheapest way...

A 16-hour drive takes Greyhound 36 hours. I said I can suffer what everyone else does, but I didn't foresee being unable to sleep during those 2 nights on the road. By the time we reached Dallas for a layover, I was delirious.

After missing my connection from Dallas to Laredo twice, I said it's time to cut my mounting losses & go to bed - my bed at home. Now 2 a.m., I'm not sure how to proceed, so I gather up my shit and step outside to wake Cheryll up. 

The consult of tears with my 24-hour travel agent was rudely interrupted by both of the bus station's gunless rent-a-cops.

You can't stand on the sidewalk.

Is it not public?

You have to come inside.

The fuck? You gonna drag me in there?

Businesses value their customers' opinions, so while vacating the public sidewalk owned by Dallas, I shared how I felt about their security, their filthy bus station, and their dilapidated buses. I informed the ticket agent on my way by, banging on her window and flying full flags, and yelling something insane. I never recognize the escalation.

It appears downtown Dallas isn't hospitable for a person to contemplate her situation for a moment. So I walk, and I try to think. Along the sidewalks are hundreds of yellow and green rental bikes, dominoed over, piled, scattered. You use an app to rent them for a dollar. I decide I don't feel like going to Laredo anymore. I can't do that job. What now? Homeless men rode wheelies in the street.

I made my way to McDonald's and made friends easily there. They all had the most legit needs for any extra cash I could spare. One guy named Robert mentioned he likes crack. It's economical at $5 per. Since I'd never partaken, he suggested we go get high. Feeling lost can make a person open to suggestion.

No, I didn't go smoke crack with a stranger! Anyway, I prefer the opposite effect. I tend to need settling down.

With that thought, it occurred to me that I might be travelling off course. As always, I'm the last to know I've become manic. How did this happen? What triggered it?  

The evidence:

• 48 hours awake.
• A deep cut on my thumb that needed stitches, caused while playing with my knife while irritated about the broken power outlets.
• Challenging the bus station authority.
• Getting all cozy with the local color.
• and being oblivious to any problem.  

I could tick the hungry, angry, lonely & tired boxes with ease.

Another guy I met at McDonald's told me he just got out of prison after 13 years for some kind of some fraud. He said he grew a lot and had big plans. He sounded like a responsible adult excited about taking control of his future.

Again with the security, rousting the riff raff from McDonalds. No panhandling. It wasn't a problem for me - I was fresh out of cash now.

I went inside and bought fries with a credit card. I wasn't hungry, but maybe I needed to supplement the gummy bears and coffee I had yesterday. I sat down to sort things out. Yes, feeling better.

Dreadlocked security was sitting in a booth with a kid of around 14, and from their body language, I guessed they might be discussing getting the kid off the street. I hoped.

Once calm, Cheryll and I decided to rent a car to get home, but the Avis didn't open until 8, and it was only 4, so I went back over to the bus station where security was kicking out people without bus tickets like whack-a-transient. I showed my previous ticket when the fascists demanded my papers.

A guy named Richard sat down by me. One lonely snaggle protruded from his bottom gum. Earlier he'd asked me to read his Theraflu package. I did, warned him it has benadryl in it, and he fell asleep and missed his bus. I saw several people miss buses. Because Greyhound's a cluster. One guy rode all the way to Dallas, and he was supposed to get off in Wichita. 

It was nice getting out and meeting some people, but now I was full up and ready to go home. Once headed in the right direction (towards home), I opened up Avis' Malibu on the autobahn turnpike to blow off the stink, as Cheryll says. I encountered weather crossing into Nebraska. When I got home, we decided to return the car to the airport in the morning.

After I dropped the car, I got on the shuttle to the airport to get coffee & wait for Cheryll to pick me up. A guy on the shuttle named Allan had flown in from California and planned to drive a rental to a Orange City, IA, but he didn't like the slick roads. He was asking around for somebody to drive him. Sounds like a good time. I'm in.

Allan was born in Nicaragua. When the Sandinistas were making it inhospitable there, his dad stayed to secure the farm while the rest of the family fled to an uncle's in the US. They settled in Northern California where he has a company that makes printed circuit boards. Lots of travel. Before we started out, we held hands & prayed, which confused Cheryll when she heard about it. I said it wasn't so bad. He put in a word for me. He had a lot of phone calls while we drove. You know that thing when the dad says half the cheer & the kid answers the rest. One of his calls was from someone that he told me was arranging a fundraiser for their pregnancy crisis center. He was going to donate a weekend at his time share in Palm Springs or on his yacht. 

You'd think I'd throw this kind of guy out onto the highway, but people can be charming when you're holding hands with them.

10 Reasons Driving is Hard

Or, I got fired for hitting 10 things - a fence post, a yellow pole, another yellow pole, some white reflectors, a couple of deer, a hill (that's hard to explain), a freaking motor home (not my fault), a truck fender, scraped a trailer, and I bent a trailer rim on a curb.

I don't know why I'm such a klutz, but the boss, nice as he is, said you've got to go before something big happens. I agreed with that.

The job before that, I didn't feel good about my driving & quit, never to drive again... until 3 months later I was missing the income.

So for the second time I quit driving for good... until after a month rotting in my recliner with Kodi & Colorado's best, I couldn't stand my pathetic self. And that's with the best management of my winter brain that I've ever had.

This time it's TruckMovers. I'll sleep in motels & fly or bus to where I'll get 3 or 4 trucks piggybacked together. Tighten up all the bolts. Drive somewhere & unhook the trucks. I think they're picked up with cranes.

Seems legit

I'm an independent contractor, so I break it, I buy it. I'll be up to my neck in expenses like tools, insurance, fuel, lodging, Lyfts, etc. The recruiter says drivers make $80-100k. Right. We'll see.

If the gig doesn't pan out, I have an Astro van I bought on a whim to do the uShip thing.

Now it's 4:50 am & I'm in the KC bus station on a 4-hour layover. I bet this job will be a lot of waiting around, plenty of time to learn Spanish & blog. I'll try to keep it interesting.